Why are you adopting?

**Disclaimer: I have been working on this post for about the last week. These are all thoughts I have been having but I am really struggling to make them accurately describe my thoughts and feelings. So if it is extra "rambly", I apologize. Don't judge me :).**

Jayson and I get this question regularly from people when they find out we are adopting. People find it unusual that we can still biologically have children, but we are choosing adoption. In all honesty, I can say I don't know. I don't know why God has asked us to take this journey. But that is exactly what has happened. God has asked, and we have obeyed, JOYOUSLY!! I have found through life experience, both mine and watching others, that life goes better when one does what God is asking.

Sometimes life would be "easier" to take the path of least resistance. For example, sometimes it would be so much easier to give in to Ryan's repetitive "pwitty pweeze" (i.e. pretty please) for a 3rd or 4th cookie, but I know that it is not good for him. It's not the easier route, but I know it is the better route.

Life would have certainly been easier for Mary had she not done what God asked of her. But she did it, and risked her very life. When I was pregnant with Ava and Ryan, I thought about Mary all of the time. About what it felt like to feel the Savior move inside of her, what an awkward relationship she must have had with Joseph in the beginning, and how she knew that she was doing what God wanted her to do even though she had no clue how this was all going to end up! And then, because I guess how this is how my mind works, imagine how stinkin' strange it would have been to have just given birth (for the first time), in a cave with animals (yuck), with a man that you really didn't know that well (again with the awkward relationship), and a bunch of smelly (my assumption) shepherds show up and begin worshiping your son along with angels!! She must have had some amazing faith!!

In no way am I comparing myself, or our journey, with that of Mary and her Joseph. I am just trying to express how blessed I feel to be on this journey! I am excited to meet this baby that we have been longing to hold. I am so anxious to finally meet the birth mom/family that chooses us. I am so ready to begin that relationship and share the love that I already feel for them. I am anticipating living life with them as we all share in our love for this one little person. What a beautiful thing.

I feel blessed that God has even asked us to adopt. In many ways I feel completely inadequate. We are asking for an enormous gift from someone we don't even know yet. The weight of the decision that the birth mom/family is making is not lost on me. I may be a horrible bit of a Pinterest junkie, and while I was binging browsing through one day, I came across this picture. Really, these things are just the way we are supposed to treat all people, but I believe that they are especially needed in a relationship as important as one with a birth family.

http://attemptingagape.blogspot.com/2013/05/respect-for-birth-families-please.html#.UxynTvldVUM

Trusting the Process

Christmas time is here! As of the day of this posting, only 16 days remain until Christmas day. For me, Christmas is all about celebrating the Birth of Jesus, and spending time with family. This is the first year we have faithfully used an Advent Calendar with the kids to countdown the days until we celebrate the coming of the Savior. The month of December also marks a special time for me, for just one year ago in this very month we began to figure out how we were going to embark on this adoption journey.

One thing that has always stuck with me is a quote that the executive director of our adoption agency shared with us at a training meeting: "Trust The Process". I have had to remind myself of that more and more as each day has gone by. Our family has encountered a variety of Birth Moms, each of whom have declined to pick our family to become a part of their family. Its at those times when you find out that you weren't picked that you begin to doubt, or think, "what's wrong with our family that we aren't getting picked?" During a season that is full of Christmas wishes and gifts, the one thing I would want more than anything is to have the gift of a Birth Mom, to have my family be matched with a wonderful woman making a very personal and great sacrifice. That is my Christmas wish, yet I know that is not how it works. So as I wish for that beautiful moment when a birth mom chooses us, I will continue to trust the process, to know that the waiting that our family is experiencing is not in vain.

Three's a Crowd!?! Poppycock!

The other night Ava had a fun night where she got to go stay the night with Andrea's parents. She used to spend every day with Andrea's mom, but now that she is in Kindergarten, she doesn't get to see her as much. So while Ava was gone, the three of us went on a little date... to the grocery store. Ryan was so excited about the grocery store, he slept the entire time. When he woke up, we decided to go to our favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner and some fun. I asked Ryan to take a picture with his mom at the restaurant. The following is the sequence of his close up with mom:

Pretty much what you would expect from an ornery three year old! With that said, we had such a good time out with Ryan while Ava was with her grandparents. It is a good change of pace to get the kids on their own, because their little personalities start to come out unfiltered by their sibling. Between eating chips and beans and talking about Ninja Turtles, we left the restaurant with full bellies and happy hearts for the fun that we got to be a part of. And all of us were so excited to see Ava the next morning!!

Lefse

Traditions! I love this time of year because of all of my family's traditions! Jayson's family traditions usually fall during the spring and summer months. We go jet skiing, camping, car shows and all of those fun things while the weather is warm. It works out well!

 

My mom's family is of Norwegian decent and there are a few food items that we all enjoy making together. So on Saturday we all gathered at my Aunt Lisa's to make lefse (pronounced "lef-suh"). It is sort of like a tortilla but it is made out of potatoes. They are fairly simple to make, but time consuming.

 

The first step in the process is to peel your potatoes. We use 10 lbs. of Russet potatoes.

 

 

 

 

After dicing them and boiling them until soft (think mashed potatoes), you push them through a tool called a ricer. It makes the potato look like rice. Here are Jess and Grady modeling the ricer. After you do that, you add a few other ingredients and mix it all up and then chill it. Lucky for us, it's like an arctic wonderland outside so we just stuck our bowls out in the snow.

 

 

 

After your dough is cooled to the touch, you use a special lefse rolling pin and roll it out into a really thin round. No one could make it as perfectly round as Aunt Susan, she was quite proud!



 

 

 

Here is my grandma (G-G to the great grandkids) monitoring them on the special round lefse grill. That stick she has is also a special lefse tool that is kind of like the Holy Grail of lefse making. I am not sure why but I remember several debates and arguments between my mom and aunts over this tool. :)

...Also, you should notice Jessie's hair in the back ground. I think I caught her mid spin! He he he.

 

 

 

Once they are done you smooth butter over them, sprinkle a little sugar and cinnamon if you like, roll it up and enjoy!



 

 

 

 

The kids joined in on the fun too and were playing in the snow and then warming up in the house and playing with toys. They are so cute!!



The First Snow

Typically I hate the snow... and all things cold. I am a summer girl. I like the beach, and the sunshine, and when it's so hot it's hard to breath. Ok that may be a bit of an exaggeration. But you get my point.

When it is cold, I like tea and blankets and a fire place. We had a fire place in the house that I grew up in. I remember my dad cutting wood and stacking it nice and neat along the fence line of our driveway. I remember the way the fire would crackle and pop at night; I would sit next to the wood stove and just listen. My grandpa (my dad's dad) worked in a saw mill and that is where he was when he passed away. I was five when he passed away. I remember as a kid looking at the trees that were pressed into the metal of the wood stove door and thinking of my grandpa.

Even though I hate the snow most of time, I do like the first snow. It brings up memories of when I was a kid with my dad and the wood stove, with my mom and her wonderful Christmas decorations, with my sisters playing and romping through the snow. Today is no different.

But now I get new enjoyment out of it. While Ava was getting ready for school this morning, she spotted the snow. "Mom! You have to get down here right now! I can't wait!" I dropped my curling iron and headed down the stairs. "Mom! Snow is falling from the sky onto the ground!" She was so excited! Ryan couldn't wait to get dressed and head out into the cold stuff.

When Jayson and I got married, we started new traditions with the family that we had created together. We took a little of his and a little of mine, and created something new. The illustration that the agency used about adoption being similar to two people getting married and starting new traditions really stuck with me. I guess because traditions are important to me. We do a study of how families celebrate the holidays each year with my class and I love hearing the things that my students do. Now that we are waiting to adopt, I wonder if our newest little love will come from a family that does similar traditions to the ones I hear my students talk about. I imagine how we will take a little of them and a little of us and create something new.

Last year at this time, we were just starting our home study process. Driving in the snow reminded me of all of the trips to the agency we took in the snow and the anxious excited feelings I always felt on the way.

I guess you could say that the first snow makes me feel nostalgic. It makes me think of the times that have passed and look forward to the times that are to come and the new people who will be in our lives to love and be loved by.

Bursting into the Holiday season

Its amazing how quickly the Holiday season approaches! The last time we blogged, we were still in the month of September, with sunny, warm weather, and now we sit in the midst of a cold front. Lots of things have happened in the last month or so, so I will try to provide you with a brief recap:

#1 - Travels to New York City!

Andrea and Ava had the privilege to go and visit Andrea's sister, who lives in the Big Apple.

The trio got to spend some time at the American Girl store, the Bronx Zoo, and they took in Cinderella on Broadway! Ava even got to The Starry Night, the painting by Van Gogh that she has been learning about in her art class!

#2 - The Mighty Fisherman!

Ryan got to go fishing with his poppa. He caught his first fish! He was so excited, he had to stop everybody walking by to show them his fish. Its a pretty good sized fish, depending on what kind of angle of picture you are looking at.

#3 - Pumpkin Patch!

Every year, our family goes to the local pumpkin patch to go on wagon rides, bouncy houses, petting zoos, and maybe even to find the perfect pumpkin. It is one of our favorite annual family traditions.

#4 - The Holidays, they Come!

We love the Holidays in our family. For Halloween, we had a sweet little Tweedle Dee from Alice in Wonderland, and Leonardo, the Ninja Turtle. I wish I had a picture to post right now, but I will try to add one later today! For November, we are excited for Thanksgiving, and the opportunity to get together with the extended family. So many cousins, uncles and aunts, faces to see, people to hug! It can be a little overwhelming getting that many people in one confined space, but it truly is a joy. We have much to be thankful for. Finally, the holiday of Christmas is on the horizon, with less than 50 days. I have always loved Christmas, so much that I found myself in October resisting the temptation to put Christmas music on. There is a sense of wonder that comes from engaging in the Christmas Spirit, from being able to celebrate the great act of love of God coming down to be among us, to provide us the means to be reconciled with him through the birth of Jesus. What a great thing to celebrate.

Here is wishing you a warm and happy holiday season.

-Jayson

Beulah

This weekend our girlie turned 6. It's hard to believe that we have been blessed to have her in our lives for 6 whole years now! We have kind of been celebrating all weekend. We had dinner as a family on Friday for her actual birthday and roasted some marshmallows out back. On Saturday we went to our most favorite place, the zoo! And then today we had a our little family celebration at my parent's house. It has been a tradition all my life to have our family celebration the Sunday nearest your birthday after church. So today we gathered on the back porch of my parent's house and had Ava's favorite meal, chicken nuggets and french fries. 

After we ate dinner my dad got out his miniature horse, Beulah. and let the kids ride around in the backyard. She is seriously the cutest little horse. She is about a million years old, give or take, so she is the perfect horse for the kids to learn to ride on. The older kids (Ava and Tyler) are getting really good at reigning the horse and riding on their own. The younger kids (Ryan and Aiden) like to hold the reigns and be "in charge" but really one of the adults is walking circles around the yard and Beulah just follows.

The kids love going to play at Poppa and Mia's house each Sunday. My parents have sort of created a miniature petting zoo since the grandkids have come along. They have a regular horse, the miniature horse, two sheep, and some chickens. Ava has been working on them to get bunnies, but I am not sure that one is going to happen. 

Here is Miss Ava taking her turn on Beulah. I think she was like 6 months old the first time she rode a horse. She has loved them ever since.

 

Here is the cowboy taking his turn. I love his face in this picture! The whole time he rode he was saying "Yee ha! Hi ho!"

 

As I watch these two get older, I can't help but wonder what our next little one will bring to the picture. What will their personality be like? Will they want to celebrate their birthday by riding the little horse around the yard? Who else will be joining our family with them? I feel the same anticipation as Ava has felt with her birthday presents this weekend. The anticipation to find out the answers and to finally meet this new little one is so much fun! I don't know when I will finally get to open my "present", but I do know that it will be amazing! I can't wait!

~Andrea

How does this work?

Over the last several months, we frequently get asked where we are at in the adoption process. Due to privacy and the delicate nature of many encounters we have with birth moms, we are often not allowed to say where we are at and what is going on. But I wanted to give you an insight into what we are doing, and how the process works.

For us, most of our work is already done. we went through the Home Study process, where the adoption agency analyzes and interviews our family and our living situation to make sure that we are capable of adopting. This includes looking into our family structure, extended family, financial information, even our medical health. All of these are considered before we are approved to adopt.

After this, we prepare a family book. This is kind of like a dating profile. It shows some pictures of our family, the things we like to do, etc. It goes into the hands of birth parents, and it gives them some insight into who we are and the kind of life we live. This is the first contact a birth mom will have with our family.

After that, we wait.

When a birth mom chooses to adopt, her generic profile is sent to all birth parents in the program. The identity of the birth mom is anonymous, but the families are given information about why the birth mom is choosing to adopt, risk factors like drug use or medical history, or other variables that might need to be considered, such as chronic illness or legal risk. From this description, a family chooses whether or not a birth mom will be allowed to look at their family book.

Since we have been in the program, we have seen over a dozen birth parent profiles. Only once did we decline to have our book shown. The only reason we declined was because we didn't feel like our family was equipped for that particular adoption situation.

Once the birth mom has all of the approved family books, she will pick her family from these books, or she might pick families she is interested in meeting. She might pick one, she might pick three, she might pick as many as she wants. From there, the agency sets up an interview with the families selected, and they meet face to face. This helps the birth mom make a more informed decision. After that, she picks the family she wants. This could take a couple days, or a couple weeks; the only timeline that seems to affect the expediency of the decision is when the baby is born.

So at this point, a lot of what happens is out of our hands.

So we wait.

One thing that I truly do appreciate about this process is that both the adopting family and the birth family choose each other. I have to approve whether or not a birth mom can look at my book, and she has to choose my family to adopt her baby. We choose each other.

I am reminded of a newer song by Sara Bareilles. The song is about a romantic relationship, but I think the chorus really speaks to the beauty of this adoption process:

Tell the world that we finally got it all right
I choose you.
I will become yours and you will become mine
I choose you.

My hope is that whoever is out there that chooses our family to adopt their baby will recognize that they are a part of our family. As they choose us, we choose them.

So there you go.  Please continue to pray for our family as we view this time as preparation for what is to come. As we wait, we know God is moving for us to choose this wonderful mom who will choose us in return.

Rosie and John

A couple of months ago Ava's hamster, Flower, went to hamster heaven. It was a very sad day for Ms. Ava. It turns out, hamsters don't have a very long life span and if you get them when they are older from the pet store, that life span seems even shorter. So we decided we would wait a while before we replaced Flower. I did some research and found out that gerbils are supposed to live a little longer than hamsters and are more personable. This seemed good to me! So on Saturday we took Ava and Ryan to Petco and we got two new gerbils. Ava's birthday is this Friday. Since I have to work in the evening at our school's Open House, we decided to celebrate a little early. One of the things I found in my research was that gerbils are social and do better in at least pairs, so we got two. One of them is Ava's and the other is Ryan's.

I love the personalities of my children and how their personalities show up even in their choice of pet. The gerbil that Ava picked out is sleek and looks really neat and tidy, like Ava. The gerbil that Ryan picked out is kind of messy looking and spunky, like Ryan. In the picture Ava's is the one on the left and Ryan's is on the right. I apologize for the picture, it is really hard to take a picture of gerbils. This was the best of several attempts. :) Their personalities also showed in the names they picked out. Ava named her gerbil Rosie Buttercup. Ryan chose the name John. Even though they are both girls. John. The kid cracks me up!

 

One of the other things I have noticed about gerbils is they are not actually cleaner than hamsters. The picture of their cage below is after those two things worked and worked to rearrange their cage and bedding. Not sure how this is more functional, but they seem happy. 

 

So we will see how this new adventure goes with gerbils. So far the kids are in love and they ran right up stairs today when we got home from school to see Rosie and John.  Today was the first day I let them get them out. So we put a towel down in the bathtub and the kids sat down and we let Rosie and John run around and "explore" and become more familiar with Ava and Ryan. Jewel even tried to get in on the fun but we weren't sure if she was hungry for a little snack or not, so we kicked her out :).

Lagoon

When Jayson decided that he would take the youth group to Lagoon, he sort of decided for me that the kids and I would go. Don't get me wrong, I love Lagoon and I love the rides. But the thought of taking two kids to an amusement park in the August heat felt a little overwhelming. So we got all packed up in three vehicles (we took down 11 teens and all of their belongings, and tents, and food) and headed to Utah! The ride down was uneventful (thankfully) and we got to the park, set up tents, and started making dinner! The next morning we were at the gates at 8:15... well... most of us were. Some of us took a little longer to get ready for the day. I will leave it up to you to decide who that was :). 

Here we are all ready for a fun day in the park!

 

After our worship service in the park, we headed to the rides! The first stop was the Odysea. It was a kid ride and I figured that Ava and Ryan would be scared. They weren't. Turns out we have hard core thrill seekers on our hands!

Here is Ava and me on the ride. Not such a flattering picture but ya know, you can't win them all!

Next stop was the tea cups. Since I took both kids on the previous ride (which happened to be a water ride that Jayson wimped out on :) ), Jayson got the tea cup joy. I figured it might put a damper on our day to have me losing my breakfast on only the second ride of the day. Me and the teacups don't mix. Aren't they cute?!

Next we thought, hey let's let them go on rides that they can go on by themselves! They will probably like them better! NOT! Bulgy the Whale was not a hit. Ava smiled for the picture, but the rest of the time she just sat there with a bored look on her face.

 

Ryan had this look of anticipation at the beginning, but then it turned into one of confusion as he waited for the real ride to start. As soon as they got off of Bulgy they both said "Let's go find a real ride now. Ok?"

 

So we found this. This ride is a little intimidating to me with the going upside down and what not. But the kids were stoked! I kept asking Ryan if he was afraid and he just kept saying "nope". I rode with Ava and Jayson rode with Ryan. Jayson flipped their cage once and Ryan shouted "Boom, bam baby!" I chose not to flip the cage and Ava said "Mom, are you kind of a big chicken?" It's a sad day when you are more afraid of rides than your 3 year old and almost 6 year old. :)

 

Here is a picture with me and my girl! She was pretty hyped that we finally found an actual roller coaster that she was allowed to ride. Apparently Puff the Little Fire Dragon didn't count as a roller coaster. I think by the time the day was done, they had ridden this coaster 4 times. 

I tried to get a sweet picture with Ryan too, apparently he was tired of taking pictures :).

Me and my favorite guy. Isn't he cute?!

I jumped out of the seat to grab this picture and almost got kicked off the ride. I didn't have time to make sure Ava was looking :).

 

Speaking of getting in trouble... I ended up having to buy these shoes from the discount bin because I got a lecture about riding rides in flip flops from one of the workers. It even included a wagging finger and a warning not to try to ride any more of the rides that let your feet dangle until I got appropriate shoes. They were two sizes too big but hey, I got to ride the rides!

 

Overall, this was such a fun trip! The kids were awesome in the park and when we started overheating, we just visited the splash pad! I am hoping that if/when we go back next year the kids will be able to ride the bigger rides. Ava has her heart set on the Colossal with it's two loops! I was quite proud of these little turkeys. It's crazy to think that the last time we were able to come down with the youth group, Ava was 11 months old! I wonder if next year we will have another little one to take with us!!!

Perspective

I have started searching for new adoption blogs but this time I started looking for blogs that were written from a perspective that I don't know so well. I started looking for blogs written by former birth moms. I read a blog post that a friend shared with me a while back and it opened my eyes and my heart to the heart of a birth mom. You can read the post for yourself here. This blog post so profoundly affected my view that I quoted it in our letter to birth parents that they read while they are looking through our family book. Because of this post I figured more of them had to be out there somewhere. I want to know more about what they think, about what they struggle with, about their motivation to place their child. I eventually found a blog that I have been reading called The Happiest Sad. It is written by a former birth mother to help other birth mothers. But it has helped me. It also helps that she is funny. Several different times I literally was laughing out loud. She is a witty one.

One thing I want to take a minute to address (I learned this from reading various blogs) is that when a girl/woman decides to place her child for adoption (not give up her baby, note the terminology there), it is not because she doesn't love her child, or that she doesn't want to keep the baby. It's because she does love her child. She loves that baby enough to put herself through the most difficult thing so that her child can have what she cannot give. It is not something to look down on her for. It is something to applaud her for. Not every pregnancy is planned by people, but every life is planned by God. It's her job as the mother to do what is right for her child, even if it hurts her. It's not a shameful act, it's selfless and beautiful.

Sorry for the randomness of this post. It kind of fits how my mind has been going. :) We are at almost five months in the waiting pool.  Ava informed me the other day "I just want a baby so bad I don't even care if it's a boy baby!" Folks, that is some serious desperation right there! She quickly decided that she still wants it to be a girl baby. Ryan is still rooting for a boy baby and says he "wiw be so angwy if it's a giwl baby". One of them will be happy! Me, I just want a baby. Maybe we will be placed with twins and they will both be happy. Alright, I am done blogging now because just the thought of twins is overwhelming!

~Andrea

Nine Months

This month marks the nine month mark into our journey. In our journey with Ava and Ryan, that meant I was having a baby soon or had a baby by now. I think this has been the hardest month for me in this process because it is being made abundantly clear that I am not in control. There is very little choice I have in this process. We do have the choice to let our family book be shown, but other than that it is out of our hands.

Through it all I have been reminded of God's goodness and presence. Through the people that we meet, and the people in our lives. This process has opened the doors for us to meet people who have been affected by adoption either by being adopted themselves or have adopted children. Each story is beautiful and unique and adds a new perspective into this beautiful journey. 

Jayson mentioned some of the gifts we have been given to help us on our way. Gifts given by people who have known us forever and some who have only met Jayson briefly or not at all. But one of the gifts we were given was by one if the teens in our youth group. This girl has been working her tail off to save and earn money for a trip she is taking through school. I have been so proud of this girl and her efforts! But one Sunday not too long ago she gave Jayson an envelope with the most precious letter in it and a $100 bill. She gave so sacrificially and so lovingly. Both Jayson and I are so humbled by her. I know it is easy to get discouraged about our future, but I am so encouraged when I think of her and the many other teens like her in our youth group. There are some truly amazing teens coming up!! To this sweet girl, Jayson and I cannot say thank you enough. You have such a huge heart and we are blessed by you!!

Thank you for continuing to pray for us in our journey. We feel your prayers. God is good, so good. 

~Andrea

The Fellowship Of The Believers

"They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need."

                                                                         Acts 2:45

This past month, I have had the blessing of seeing the people of God respond to the callings of the Spirit, and live out this scripture in their own lives. I had the opportunity to share my testimony with a small group of people at a Church Camp. I included our current journey through the adoption process as testimony to the work of Jesus Christ in our lives today. One young man, working as part of the college age staff at the camp, felt compelled to give towards our adoption. I know this young man is not raking in the big bucks working at a Church Camp, so I have to believe that his contribution is a great sacrifice towards helping us achieve our goal.  They gave to those who had need.

This story was shared with the Camp Manager, who shared this story with the general camp staff, where another couple felt compelled to give towards our adoption. This particular group was a retired couple on a fixed income, volunteering their time and labor at a Summer Camp. They gave to those who had need.

Finally, the one story that so clearly shows this passage lived out is in regard to an older widow, who approached me a couple of weeks ago about trying to sell a truck and give me the money from its proceeds. She further suggested that if she could not sell the truck, she would give it to me to do whatever I would like with it, whether it was used for scrap metal or otherwise.

Three weeks ago, she approached me in the Church hallway with the Title:

This wonderful widow took property and possessions to give to me and my family, who had need. I will never doubt the presence of the Spirit of God in the lives of people, compelling them to make use of their time and resources for the furthering of his Kingdom. My hope is that when this process is through, that my family can continue this great example set by both young and old, to give of their property and possessions for those in need.

Waiting For Baby Fun Run

Today we had our Fun Run! It was a lot of fun! It was such a good time to get together with friends and family and just be together! Here are some pictures for those who missed it!

Thankfully we had Kellie there to take pictures because I didn't get any! If you got any, please send them to me! 

I feel like it was a success! We still have shirts left over and we will be selling them after church on Sunday in the lobby if you would like them. They will be $15 each. 

Tonight Jayson and I sat in the nursery talking about our fundraising efforts and how we have done so far. We both felt so overwhelmed with the goodness of our God and the amazing people He has placed in our lives! When we started this journey a little over 8 months ago, we could not have imagined the blessings we would have received. In just that time we have managed to raise just a little over half of our goal! GOD IS SO GOOD! 

He has not only blessed us financially but He has blessed us with a peace that surpasses all understanding. People ask us how we can stand it and normally I would be a wreck, but we both feel peace. Just peace. Whichever way she chooses is ok. We will be ok and God, in his infinite wisdom, already knows our baby and when he/she will finally be in our arms. Until then, maybe for the first time in my life, I am content to wait on His timing. He has more than proven His capability in this journey so far. This is a good place to be.  Not that it is always easy to wait, but I choose to focus on Him. 

Thank you all again, from the bottom of our hearts. 

~Andrea

Yard Sale Update :)

So I promised an update on our yard sale but we were so busy that I haven't had a chance until now! I thought I would do this post with pictures so that you could kind of get a picture of our endeavor in case you didn't make it down.

This picture is of the first 4 truck loads we took out of our garage. We ended up doing 11 truckloads from our garage total. Plus three more trailer loads. We had a lot of stuff!

This is after we brought the rest of the items from our house, plus the first trailer load. This is what Maddie and I showed up to on Tuesday morning. We felt a little overwhelmed :).

This is my sweet Maddie after we had gotten the tables set out and some of the items sorted. We felt quite proud of our efforts. I don't know what I would have done without this girl! She is AMAZING!!

We ended up getting another two trailer loads of items that included more furniture and a piano! We were so very pleased with the outcome of this fundraiser! It was bigger and better than we had hoped! We still have several of the bigger items that we are keeping and are going to put on Craigslist so our total will most likely end up being even more than that! 

I want to take the opportunity to thank several people! We had several teens who came and helped out: Brady, Jonathan, Brandon, Ashley, Maddie, and Chandler. We also had the help of Maddie's family, Barbie, Hannah, Caden, and Ryder! My dear friend Melissa came and helped take money and price and sort and all sorts of things for a couple of days. My mother-in-love, Linda, helped manage, sort, move, and encourage! And my mom helped by keeping Ava and Ryan so we could focus on the yard sale! We also had people who baked some yummy treats to sell at the yard sale: Debbie, Corrie, Melissa, and Barbie. We are so thankful for our "village" of people. We are so blessed and so humbled by your generosity.

 

~Andrea

Loaves and Fish

"And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people."
               -Matthew 14:19
This is one of Jesus' miracles that I often think on and wish that I could have seen. If you read further on into the story it says that over 5,000 people were fed till they were full and twelve baskets of leftovers were collected. I just can't wrap my head around the magnitude of what took place on the hillside that day. 
I think that we may be experiencing our own version of this same miracle. Where God has taken what little we had and multiplied it beyond what we could have imagined. 
Tomorrow is the second (official) day of our yard sale. During the first three days while we were setting up, we made $600. Yup, you read that right. I am not going to tell you what we made today. I want to make a grand, melodramatic announcement after it is all said and done!
I want to thank you, our dear friends and family. Your generosity and selfless gifts and time spent helping us sort, price, organize, and manage are appreciated more than you know. Our hearts are so full. 

Updates and Reminders

So it has been a while since we last posted. For now, all of our energy is going into our fundraising efforts. Right now the main focus is the yard sale which will be next week from Thursday, May 29- Saturday, May 31. We are planning on opening up at 7:00 and going until 5:00ish each day. We will be on the Boulevard. Come see us!! We have soooo much stuff! The donations have been simply astounding, we are so humbled by the generosity of our friends and family. Some of the things we have available are:

• couches
• dressers
• book shelves
• entertainment center
• area rug with matching curtains
• strollers
• car seats
• a piano
• clothing
• table saw
• bedding sets
• and much more!!!! 

This is truly going to be an amazing yard sale, you won't want to miss it!!

We are also plugging away at our "Waiting For Baby Fun Run Fundraiser". My sister-in-love has gotten all of the permission slips and reservations made and is working on the food for the BBQ after. The deadline to sign up and guarantee a shirt is June 10th. You can get that registration form by clicking here.

Last night I was going through the kids' toys and sorting out baby toys to put away for later, toys that were going to the yard sale, and toys to keep. We will be using that room as the nursery again :). After I got most of the way done (because let's face it, no project ever goes as smoothly as one has envisioned), I was sitting on the floor just looking around this room. It is the room that held each of my babies as they slept; where I changed their teeny tiny little diapers and got them dressed in their teeny tiny little clothes. I still remember painting that room with my mom and grandma when I was pregnant with Ava. Now it will hold our next little love. Perhaps all of this need to organize and rearrange signifies I have entered the "nesting" phase of this "pregnancy".

The Waiting for Baby Fun Run!!

Well everyone, we have worked out all of the kinks and we are going to be doing one last fundraiser to help us along on our journey! I think this fundraiser is going to be the most fun because your whole family can be involved!! It is going to be a great afternoon of being active and being together! Seriously, does it get any better?! Here are the details!

When: Sunday, June 22nd at 3:00 pm

Where: We will start out at Municipal Park (station #4) on the Boise Greenbelt, head towards Julia Davis Park and then loop back around to Municipal Park. (A total of 2.4 miles)

Who: Anyone and everyone!! This is an event for your entire family (except the dog :( )!

Cost: $20 per person or $60 per family up to five members ($20 per participant after that). This includes your shirt, registration fee, and lunch after!!

Click here to download the registration form. Then print it and mail it to my sister-in-law with your check. You do need one form per participant, but you can send only one check with the total amount. The registration deadline is June 10th, we can't guarantee a shirt on time if you register after that :).

Fun Run Fundraiser



So, we are aware that you may be getting sick of us and our fundraising efforts. We really hope not!! We hope that you only participate as the Lord leads you, and not because you feel guilt :).

 

 My lovely and wonderful sister-in-love has volunteered to head up a Fun Run Fundraiser. We are still ironing out the details but we are planning on it being on June 22nd. That is a Sunday and we are wanting to do it in the afternoon around 3:00. We are going to be doing it on the Boise Greenbelt and we are starting out at Municipal Park, walking/running to Julia Davis Park, and then looping around back to Municipal Park where we will be having a BBQ and hanging out! There is a great playground for the kids to play on there and it is a really nice park! We may change this as things progress, but this is what we have tentatively planned right now. Registration will be $20 per person or $60 per family. That price includes a shirt for each participant and your lunch after.

 

Once we have things finalized, I will be attaching a registration form for you to fill out and give to either Jayson or myself. I am hoping to have this posted on the blog by this Friday. We are giving you the heads up now so that you can make sure you have the day open :).

 

If you would like a shirt but don't live close enough to participate in the fun run, shirts will be sold for $15 each. We can ship the shirts to you, but shipping rates will be added to your total.

 

The verse that is on the shirt is the verse that we feel God gave us when we started this journey. It is a popular verse among families who are adopting and I think it is because it reminds us that God is the great father who came to us and redeemed us, gave us a home, a hope and a future. 

 

Friends

You know how sometimes you have those friends that you have known your whole life and it doesn't matter how long you have been apart, when you get together it is like no time has passed? I have a couple of those! One of these friends made a rather large donation to our adoption but asked me not to share her name. She knows who she is and she knows she is loved and appreciated, and so does God. This friend not only donated her money, but she has donated much of her prayers and her time listening to me process through this whole adoption journey and never made me feel badly about taking up so much of her time. She is such a blessing to me!!

Then there are those friends that you meet and it feels like your heart has known them your whole life. One of the biggest blessings of moving to the school I teach at now, is a friend just like that. When I met Erin, she was newly pregnant with the most adorable baby girl. We just clicked. She has also been one of my biggest prayer warriors and support through this adoption. Well, Erin has this Etsy store and she sells little baby leggings and scarfs and other adorable little baby items. Her sweet little lady wears them and seriously, they are just darling!! I will definitely be purchasing some for our new little one! But she has very generously offered to donate the proceeds from the items that she sells if you use the promo code (please contact me to get it). You can get to her Etsy store by clicking here . So shop away and dress those sweet little loves in your lives with her adorable products!! She makes them for both boys and girls, so everyone can shop :).

Here are a few of my favorites :).

Sweet arrow leggings! LOVE!

A bird scarf that doubles a bib. Genius, right?!

And I am not sure if it's the floral leggings, or the darling girl modeling them, but these are a definite favorite!!

The Waiting

Tom Petty's hit song "The Waiting" has been running through my mind as of late:

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
the waiting is the hardest part

So right now, we are waiting. And waiting. And waiting. You begin to wonder if you will ever get the family member that you long to have.

In the midst of my disappointment and lack of control over the situation, there is only one that I can turn to. I reminded of the words of Job, in the midst of his despair:

"I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth (Job 19:25)."

I know that God has picked out a baby for us, one that will become part of our family. The only problem we face now is the anxiety / excitement that comes from waiting, and the lack of control that this process places us in.

The waiting is the hardest part.

This and That

I am happy to say that things have calmed down some around the our house. I don't know that it will stay that way for long though! We are gearing up for the little lady's dance recital next month, the little man always keeps us on our toes, and our yard sale fundraiser is fast approaching! Our garage is almost full and we have a few more places to pick things up from. If you have items to donate, or would like to rent a space, IT'S NOT TOO LATE! One thing has been abundantly clear so far to us, we are completely surrounded by the most loving people. Our support system is so fantastic.

We have come to realize that we need to start preparing for the baby. I know this sounds so crazy since that's all we have been thinking and talking about. But when it came down to it, we weren't physically ready for the baby. We didn't have a car seat, or diapers, or a diaper bag, or bottles. Ya know, the basic things you need for a baby :). So we have started getting things ready for baby on a more basic level. 

Some sweet friends of ours gave us a car seat and I was so excited I decided to put it in the car, just so I could see it! Except that, it didn't fit with the other two car seats. We couldn't get all three in and shut the doors! Seriously?! So after I freaked out a bit about the possibility of having to trade my car in (I love my car!), we decided to try out my nephew's car seat because it was a different brand. It worked!! So we decided buying a new car seat would be a better financial decision than buying a new car ;). Call me crazy, but I love infant car seats! I have been so giddy happy every time I see that sweet thing sitting in my living room!!

We have also started buying a pack of diapers every time we go to the store. It's something we did throughout my pregnancies with our first two and was really helpful! And I must admit, those itty bitty diapers make me giddy too! They are so tiny and I just can't help but think of the sweet little body that will fill them!!

At this point, we do have another birth mom looking at our family book. We won't know if she is interested in meeting us or not for a couple of weeks. 

I feel that even if this woman doesn't pick us, it's ok. God, in His sovereignty, has a plan. I am so excited for His plan! I am also excited because we have been given the unique blessing of knowing about specific women who are in a time of crisis and having the opportunity to lift them, and their baby, before The Lord! How amazing is that?! 

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We are so appreciative for them. 

Officially on the Wait List!!!

I have been waiting forever to write this post!! We officially received word that we have been approved and are on the wait list! On February 5th we had our third and final meeting with our home study social worker. This meeting consisted of individual meetings for Jayson and I with the social worker. Overall, there was really nothing new in these meetings. Then we had our transition meeting with the social workers who coordinate the relationships between the birth parent(s) and the adoptive parents. We also had our home visit on that day. Thanks to my mom and my mom-in-love, we had our house sanitized and ready to go! We passed home inspection and paid our program fee.

We turned in our profile/family books about two weeks ago. These books are basically picture books that have pictures of Jayson and I and our family. They also include a letter from both Jayson and I to the birth parent(s) explaining a little about ourselves, our relationship, and why we want to adopt. These books are shown to the birth parent(s) and if they like us, they ask to meet us. They may ask to meet with several prospective adoptive parents so there is a possibility that we may meet with a birth parent(s) and not be chosen.

Our agency has redone their program recently and one of the things they do is allow us to view some non-identifying information about a birth mom that is ready to view profiles. Once we view that information we can choose to have our book shown or not. It is all confidential and so whatever we read, we cannot share. We would appreciate it if you would add discernment to your list of things you are praying for us :).

Thank you all for your prayers and support. This has been such a crazy ride, and it's only the beginning! God is good!!!

~Andrea

So Close to the Finish Line!!

When Jayson and I started this adoption journey I began scouring the internet looking for adoption blogs. I would stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning reading every post on any blog I could find. One thing that I felt was "missing" was details on the process. I knew that it probably had to do with the fact that each agency does things a little differently so it probably didn't make sense to share how each one did it. But I still wanted to know something!! So I decided that as I was writing our blog, I would be open and honest about the whole process so that maybe some one else who was considering the journey would have some sort of framework to go off of. This hasn't been particularly hard for me since I have often been described as being "born with out a filter". There isn't much that I leave unsaid :). (I am working on this particular character trait.) So if there are weeks without a post, you can read that as weeks of nothing for us. I try to highlight the main events :).

Let me back up to about 3 weeks ago. We received an email from the director of our agency saying that they were requiring all the families in our program to come in for a meeting because there were going to be some really good changes that we needed to talk about. I asked my sister to pray with me and Jayson over this. That God would make it abundantly clear which route we were to take, adopt via the agency or hope to be found via word of mouth. The day before the meeting, our social worker called and said that because we were going to be meeting for our second meeting and we weren't officially in the program yet, she would just do our training at our second meeting. So the fizzle kind of went out of our anticipation in our prayer, so to speak.

As we began talking with friends and family and looking into all of our options with adoption, we began to lean more towards trying to market ourselves and hope for a birth mom to hear about us through an attorney or word of mouth. In fact we had decided on that. We could figure out how to come up with the money for that route. On the way to our meeting tonight Jayson and I had decided that we would just let them know that we would not be paying the program fee at this time. We were going to explore our other options and just continue to save as we searched on our own.

I always get really anxious on the way to these meetings. I am not really sure why, but I do. So we headed into our meeting with our plan in mind, on the same page.  As we sat in the meeting and listened to how the program was changing and how our role in the process would increase, I felt God speaking to my heart that this is where we would meet our birth mom. This was the route He wanted us to take. He wasn't worried about the money. My response to this prompting was "Ok, God. If this is what you really want, and it isn't just my emotions, you have to tell Jayson." We sat and went over that giant stack of paperwork that I posted a picture of in my last post. Our social worker kept saying things like "most people aren't as open to as much as you two are" and "you guys are really open to different scenarios". I felt that we had been rather closed off so I thought this was interesting. She also said that birth moms often place with teachers during the summer time because they are home for the summer. I couldn't help myself from getting excited that these might help us to be placed sooner. One of the changes to the program is a sort of pay as you go plan. So as we reach each milestone in the process (entrance into the program, matched, placement) we have a portion of the payment due. I don't know why, but this made it feel more manageable even though the dollar amount is the same.

As we left the meeting, we decided to stop and grab something for dinner. As we sat in the restaurant I tried to figure out how to tell Jayson what I was feeling. Jayson, being his usual straightforward self, looked at me and said "I feel comfortable going through the agency." And then went back to inhaling his enormous burrito. I just stared at him with tears in my eyes. He attributed them to something spicy in my food. But it was my awe at God and that he had spoken the same words into both of our hearts. I don't know why it still takes me by complete surprise when God is active in our lives. I know it in my head, and I profess to believe that He is, but I am always dumbfounded when my eyes are open enough to see it.

I am aware that this blog has been quite melodramatic thus far. I am truly sorry. I try to update as things happen and each time they do I am completely blown away by God's presence in this journey. Again, I know that sounds stupid. Of course He is present!! I talk to Him about my family and everything involved in it every day. I am sort of embarrassed to admit that I am shocked when I realize His movement in our lives.

So now, we have one more visit to go and our home visit. Our home study document is already partially done and we are really hoping that it will be complete by the beginning of March!! We are planning a couple of bigger fundraisers one of them being a walk/run 5k. If you are interested in participating please message me and let me know :). Also, if you have done this before, or know of a good way to go about it, please message Jayson or me that info! There will be a shirt involved so that is exciting!

Please continue to pray for us! Please also pray for our birth mother and baby. I read this blog post and it just made it all the more real to me that this woman, where ever she is, needs our prayers. Because like the blogger says, there is only love when a woman chooses adoption for her baby. I believe it is for this woman, along with the baby, that God is asking us to adopt via domestic infant adoption. Thank you all for your kind words and excitement, we are loving sharing this journey with you!!

~Andrea